bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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