does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
