Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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