I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
