On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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