I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize