i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
