I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
