if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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