When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
nutella sex= disaster
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
