I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
