If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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