Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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