i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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