i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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