If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize