I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
