three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So many bounce houses so little time
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i now understand why vodka
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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