Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
