So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
