He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
