Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
