i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
