Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
