that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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