I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
