The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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