Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
