4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did i just pee glitter
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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