Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
