Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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