Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
