So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I want her autograph on my taint
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
