sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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