We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
