but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
