Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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