Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
