dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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