Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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