My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize