Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
