i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
