oh god the rape fog is back!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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