when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
