Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize