just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How does one acquire holy water?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
