BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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