I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
