i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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