yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
