are you so shy because you have an std?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
