Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
