So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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