Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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