Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
