I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
