he shaved USA in his pubs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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