I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize