Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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