I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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